Change Your Perspective On Forgiveness
If you feel stuck in any area of your life it could very well be due
to a lack of forgiveness. Perhaps you are having trouble forgiving
someone else or yourself. It doesn't matter. Holding on to past
memories or "stories" is guaranteed to tie up your energy and
block your ability to attract what you want.
I struggled with forgiveness for many years because I believed
that if I forgave someone they would not receive the "just punishment"
they deserved for what they had done to me. But as I looked at that
belief I realized it was just that, a belief. In fact, it was just an
assumption and an illusion.
What I learned is that the universe will always seek balance and it
will deal with that person or situation in the appropriate way, even
if it that means letting them off the hook. The outcome in their life
has nothing to do with the outcome in my life unless I choose to
keep myself tied to it.
If you think about it, when you choose to forgive someone, it is nothing
more than an ego trip. When you say "I forgive you", what you are really
saying is you have some sort of hold over them. By saying "I forgive you",
you decree that you are pronouncing them "free" of your resentment. That
isn't forgiveness. That's an ego trip.
There is really nothing to forgive. What we call forgiveness is simply
letting go. It is not placing judgment on other people or yourself.
When you are truly conscious you realize that nothing "bad" or "wrong"
happened. You may judge it as "bad" or "wrong", but from the view of
ALL THAT IS what occurred is simply what occurred. It's over. It's done.
Because we believe something "bad" happened, we still think of ourselves
as being victimized no matter how much we try to forgive. So we are caught
up between two conflicting energies. One is to condemn and blame and the
other is to forgive. This is why we struggle with forgiveness.
However, when we are truly conscious we realize nothing "bad", "negative"
or "evil" happened at all. In fact, what happened didn't happen TO you but
FOR you. It happened to help you to awaken and grow. It was part of your
life lesson to bring you to where you are right now and to allow you to
let go of your "story" of victimization.
So if you are stuck in any area of your life, take a look at your unwillingness
to forgive yourself or others and just let it go! Realize there is nothing to forgive.
You just have to release it and move on.
Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation that you are
making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT! No matter how large or small, please
record it in your Evidence Journal. It will only take a few moments and will
AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.
Truly Caring for Your Success!
Received from my friend Dr. Anthony
The Golden Circle
How is it that things don’t go the way you plan? Why is it that one person can accomplish something when another can’t given all the same opportunities and resources? It is because of an idea called the Golden Circle: it’s a simple idea coined by Simon Sinek.
This idea explains why some people are able to inspire and others are not.
What? – Every single person or organizations knows what they do.
How? – Some know how they do it.
Why? – Very few people or organizations know why they do what they do.
Why? doesn’t mean “to make a profit. That is a result of what you do. By why I mean what is your purpose, your cause, your belief? Why do you or your organization exist? Why do you get out of bed in the morning? And why should anyone care?
Looking again at the Golden Circle, the way we think, act and communicate is from the outside in. From the what to the why. We go from the clearest thing to the fuzziest thing. The inspired leaders, the inspired organizations all think, act and communicate from the inside out.
The mass majority of us who have something to offer communicate like this:
“I have a product”
“It is beautiful, its perfect and it will meet all your needs.”
“Want to buy it?”
The response is usually “no” or even “maybe” with no action step in site. This is how most of us communicate, it’s how most marketing is done. We say what we do, we say how we are different and we expect some sort of response, some type of action. We expect someone to buy our products, or sign up for our
services or even vote for us and agree with our ideas. This is very uninspiring.
Inspired leaders, practitioners, mentors, sales people and organizations take the opposite approach. They start with why. This makes them stand out from the masses. An example would be:
In everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. How do we do this?
How - We create products and services that are packaged well, simple to use and
meet your needs.
What – The product.
People do not buy what you do, they buy why you do it.
The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs your product; the goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe. That’s your market, that’s your niche.
All this information is grounded in the science of Biology. Not Psychology, Biology.
If we look at the cross section of the brain from the top down, you will see that the brain is separated into three components. These three components correlate directly with the Golden Circle.
The homosapien or neo brain aka Neocortex corresponds with the “what” level. The Neocortex is responsible for all of our rational thinking, analytical thought and language; the middle two sections make up our limbic brain and are responsible for all of our feelings, like trust and loyalty. They are also responsible for all human behavior, all decision making and it has no capacity for language. When we communicate from the outside in, people understand vast amounts of complicated information like features, benefits, facts and figures. But this does not drive behavior.
When we communicate from the inside out, we communicate directly with the part of the brain that controls behavior. Then we allow people to rationalize the “what” with the tangible things we say and do.
The limbic brain is where “gut” decisions come from. You can give someone all the facts and figures you want, they can totally understand, yet you hear the phrase “It just doesn’t feel right”. Why would we use that verb? It is because the part of our brain that is actually responding doesn’t understand language and it’s the best it can come up with. The limbic is the part of the brain that controls decision making, not language.
If you do not know why you do what you do, how will you ever get anyone to buy your product or services or even be loyal? Apple customers are very loyal. AT&T customers are very loyal. Both of these companies make good products, provide good customer service but so do many others in the same industries.
These two companies also have higher priced items then other companies
too. So, why are their customers so loyal? People don’t just buy their products,
they want to be a part of what they do.
Again, the goal is not just to sell to people who need what you have. The goal is to sell to people who believe what you believe. The difference between inspired leadership and not, is that inspired leaders are driven by a cause, a belief. They are not driven by money or notoriety. They believe that they can make a significant change in the world or in the lives of others. They are not in pursuit of the result or the riches. If you talk about what you believe, you attract those who believe what you do. What you do simply serves as the proof of what you believe.
Its no secret that the treatment process for Cancer negatively affects the body casing severe nausea, upset stomach, inability to eat or taste feed. Several of my clients have benefited from hypnotherapy to reduce these symptoms. Most are adults and several are children. Studies show that hypnosis "...is effective in the treatment of ANV in children."
Hawkins P, Liossi C, Ewart B, et al. Hypnotherapy for control of anticipatory nausea and vomiting in children with cancer: Preliminary findings. Psycho-Oncology. 1995; 4: 101-6. Summary: Pediatric oncology patients often experience significant chemotherapy related nausea and vomiting (NV). A number of controlled studies have shown that a variety of behavioral interventions are effective in treating both anticipatory and postchemotherapy NV. The present randomised, controlled-design study aims to assess the possible therapeutic gains that may be derived from hypnosis while controlling for gains that may be derived from non-specific therapeutic factors. Thirty paediatric oncology patients (5-17 years of age), following baseline assessment, were randomly assigned to one of three groups--' treatment as usual' control group, therapist contact group, and a hypnosis training group-- during an identical chemotherapy pulse. Statistical analysis demonstrates the effectiveness of hypnosis for the reduction of anticipatory nausea and vomiting. Therapist contact alone was also found to be effective in reducing anticipatory nausea but it is suggested that this may be a statistical rather than a clinical effect. The results of the present study suggest that hypnosis is effective in the treatment of ANV in children.
I can provide a personalized MP3 for nausea during and after cancer treatments.
Today I was out making contact with Doctors at Cancer Centers and Pain Management Facilities to see how I could help them provide their patients with a better quality of life through Hypnotherapy and Mentoring I, of course did not make it past the guard (receptionist) at any of the places I went, but I left my cards anyway. Some of the receptionist seemed a bit hostile too. Made me take a few minutes and clear on why I was perceiving their hostility. While I was sitting still on a bench contemplating how I could be better received, I saw a woman sitting not far away. She was an average looking woman in her late 30's to early 40's. She looked like any woman you'd see in the grocery store or at your kid's school. Her black lab was being very obedient sitting with her. I noticed she kept putting her head down and the dog would kiss her face every now and then, then look around like he didn't know what to do. I looked closer and I noticed that she was crying, quietly to herself. Now, I thought to myself; do I go and see what the problem is or do I leave her in peace to deal with whatever she is working through on her own... I am a professional, I thought to myself and of course I went over to see how I could help. At first, I just sat on the bench near her until she recognized my presence. The dog certainly was glad I was there and showed me by immediately licking my hands.
I waited a few more minutes quietly as she composed herself, wiped tears from her face and adjusted her blouse that had become untucked when she sat down. I saw out of the corner of my eye that she had looked my way several times, but she didn't feel annoyed at my presence, so I stayed. Another minute or so went by when I decided it was time to introduce myself and ask how I can help.
With a voice that was still a bit shaky, she began speaking and said "I feel paralyzed. Time is passing by, and I am not doing anything productive. I have projects and work to do, but I just don't feel like doing. I stay in bed and eat. I feel numb. I was very depressed and crying, but now things don't seem to matter anymore. I don't feel anything. I am unemployed, 52 years old, alone, and I'm running out of money. I should be getting ready to work, I send job application after job application, and nothing. I felt despair, but somehow I feel like things are slipping out, away.
I listened carefully without uttering a word or bobbing my head...Just looking, and listening.
She continued; "I would like to know how to get unstuck, how to find meaning in life, how to be active again. How to have
hope and be happy for being alive. My body hurts and I don't move. I am eating and gaining weight because food seems to provide some sort of comfort, but since it is temporary, I keep eating, and gaining weight. I feel I am on a path of
She takes a breath and blows it out as if to be releasing something from deep in her chest. Her dog looks at me as if to ask "Well? Whatcha gonna do?" then looks back at her.
I listen more as she begins again; "I lost the will to do things. I need to feel meaning in my life. I am happy when I am around people, but those times are so rare, and I feel lonely most of the time. Time is running out and my money is running out,
and it seems that no matter how I try I can't find a job, and I feel discouraged and desperate. So, now I feel nothing. I am numb.
She stops talking for a moment and the tears begin to flow down her cheeks again. Her blue eyes now red and tired. She wipes the tears away with an embroidered handkerchief and she looks off into the distance as if the answer is out there somewhere...and then she closed her eyes, wiped them again and asks me, a complete stranger...."How do I get out of
this paralysis? How do I get rid of this numbness? How to find meaning in life? Can you help me?
Now it was my turn to look away and off into the distance. At least I am sure that is what it appeared like I was doing. In fact, I was looking deep inside myself. I was thinking how strange it was that I was sitting here with this person, how my intuition forced me to be available for her in this moment. You see, it was just a few hours earlier, I too was feeling "paralyzed". I was sitting at my desk, looking at the list of things I had to complete, looking at my empty calendar; no client scheduled this week. I don't have the benefits of going to work everyday knowing that I will get a paycheck at the end of the week. I don't have paid time off or sick days. Clients come to me, I help them and they pay me. I use that money to pay my expenses, buy groceries, put gas in the Jeep and cover advertising, etc...Just this very morning, I too was paralyzed. I did not know what direction to go, what tasks to complete first, where to go to generate more business. For a moment, I felt this woman's pain. I felt her fear and even her loneliness. I felt her desperation.
Then, I returned to who I was at that very moment, not the who I was this very morning and I knew exactly what to do.
Because I was actually listening, I recalled her say "I have work to do". I did not need to get involved in the details of her work or the story. She had work to do. It is clear that being paralyzed was keeping her stuck from doing her work, whether it was getting resumes out, making calls, reading the classifieds or whatever. She just needed to get unstuck so that she could get moving again.
A million and on things went through my brain about what I could tell her to do about looking around and creating her own job buy filling the needs of others, or going to Day Labor, or...or...or. But, no...She seems to be a very smart and capable person. She no doubt knew all these options. The real issue is that she was stuck. And I know that there is really only one thing that gets us so stuck that we feel paralyzed and that is fear. sometimes it can grow over time, it sneaks up on us and one day BAM! it stops us dead in our tracks! Unable to see past it, giving us all too many reasons why we should just stop and give up on whatever it is we are doing. The pity is, is that often it convinces us to give up just before we reach the success or goal we were reaching for.
Again, I myself that very morning was stuck until I remembered a little trick I learned during many hours of research. The Pomodoro Technique! It's brilliant for just such a thing. Basically it entails setting a kitchen timer to 25 minutes, doing whatever work you need to accomplish for only that 25 minutes. You must learn to control your communication devices during that time. No Facebook, telephone, food, etc. Then reward yourself for 25 minutes doing something you enjoy. After that 25 minutes, goes get back on task for 25 minutes and so on. There is a whole certification class in this technique that is truly more detailed how to be productive but that does not serve this purpose in the moment.
This poor woman was feeling desperate, discouraged and lost the meaning to what she was doing. Almost every thing she spoke of was about time and how it is running out. She just needs to get organized again, get a grasp on her time, complete the tasks she knows need to be done and reward herself for completing them.
I gave her the information and as I sat there quietly letting her digest the new information, I waited quietly.
A few minutes go by and I noticed the tears had dried up. her face color normalized and her swollen nostrils and lips returned to normal. Her red eyes cleared. Finally, she took a deep breath and shook her head yes.
I smiled, gave her my card. She stood with me, shook my hand and thanked me with a smile. As she turned to walk away she looked back one more time and said "I got it, Thank You".
I watched as this woman, another human being, walked away with a bit of a bounce in her step...felt better about today.
I know I do.
Another Rainy Sunday
I have been working on my part of our book today, Visions2Victory, Changing your life is as little as 10 minutes a day (tentative title). A also spent the day doing some more training on Hypnosis and Sports and Past Life Regression.
I noticed that I awoke this morning with a fire in my gut to get butts in the seat for Our V2V Presentation on August 31st in Phoenix. so far we have had no one sign up for the event. This is really disappointing to me because the information that has come to us over years or training and doing really is priceless for those that want to learn it. One of our former students change her life from a stay at home mom, with not car and no job to making over $6K/mo. in less than 9 months after taking our class and using the skills taught her. Another former student has gone from a life of depression, separation from her children, a bad relationship with her Ex to finding peace, seeing her children as often as she likes, getting a great job and having a meaningful relationship with her Ex to provide a healthy, loving overall environment for her children.
I really wish that I could share this amazing training with everyone, all the time. If they get it (and it is sooooo simple) They would really be able to create the lives they want...not matter how young or how old.
Anyway, I searched online and tried to figure out how to place our event on local calendars for Radio and TV stations as well as various other "things to do" sites around the state. I had enough of that for a while so then I decided to play with some After Effects Video creation....I really love making things from nothing.
Sooooo. Click the picture and you can see what I created...It was so fun to do. I love working with After Effects.
And...I think that's enough for me tonight....G'Night who ever is reading..
It's a lovely rainy Saturday in Prescott, Arizona today., Haven't really done a lot. I got home really late from training in the Valley for It Works! wraps things. That was fun. The training was held at the TGIFridays in Chase Field where the Diamond Backs Play. I haven't been there is many years so it was fun to see the place when a game is not going on.
Anyway, I drove back last night and finally got to bed around 1:30. I woke up a few times during the night but ended up sleeping until almost 11:00 AM. I guess I really needed the sleep.
I had no real plans for today with it raining and all. The thunder and lightening being directly overhead has been fun. I love weather like this. So, I started with a little project, then another and yet another and the next thing I knew it was 6:00 PM. So, to go along with the theme of the day...I'm not gonna do anything of any importance.
I am going play with some After Effects video stuff and then settle in with a movie classic; The Godfather. Should be a fun and relaxing night. :-)
See ya on the other side.
I AM THAT, I am
In all my readings and research I have come to the conclusion that we are in fact, all connected. No matter how individual we want or think we are, we are all interconnected by an energy that comes from us, flows through us and is intertwined binding us all together. Not just us as human beings but rather all of creation, everything on this planet. As a young man (boy of 13 yrs.) I was training to be a Shaman and one of the first things I learned about this world from my elders and other Shaman was that There is a life giving force that flows through all things. It gives to us in direct proportion that we give to it.
In other words; life is all around us, all inside of us and it IS us and the more we pay attention to certain parts of our life the more we get from it. Sometimes "giving" is not necessarily a physical act of taking something you have and bestowing it to another. Sometimes, "giving" is merely paying attention, noticing, or acknowledging. So what we pay attention to grows...and what we don't dies or simply (over time) ceases to exist. This goes not only for the physical things in our lives like houses, cars, tools, but also for the less tangibles like family, friends, community, and our planet as a whole.
I was thinking all day today about the writings of when Moses met God in the Bible. When asked who he was or what he was to be called the reply was "I AM THAT I AM". Philosophers have theorized this translation from the original writing for hundreds of years. I have my own interpretation. Just like in the part that tells us that we were all created in the image of God, I take this to mean that we are all creators ourselves. We create our lives, we create our environment, we create every aspect of who and what we become not only as individuals but collectively. A family, community, society, and planet. and getting back to the phrase "I AM THAT I AM"...I think there is a comma in there and since we are all created in God's Image, we are all, there for "I AM THAT I AM" or rather I am that, I am....So the next time you see a homeless person on the street you can say to yourself "I am that! I am! and you will realize why you ignore them and look away. It is because you see yourself in them. You look away because you don't want to see yourself. You don't what to even think that you could be like that. When you see an abused child or even their abuser remember the phrase I am that, I am! or an alcoholic or drug addict and the list goes on. I am that, I am! And someone reading this somewhere along that way will come to argue that because they have personally never done any of the above mentioned things that they can not possibly be held accountable and that it certainly is NOT them. I am that too, I am...
And.....When you see compassion shared with another, I am that, I am! When you see whole communities and towns come together to help those in need from a natural disaster, or tragic deaths as in the 19 Hot Shots who recently died fighting the Yarnell, Arizona fire....I am that, I am!
You see how it works...we are both what we love and what we don't and we too often turn our heads and look the other way so that we do not have to acknowledge the things we like least about ourselves. We run from it, we hide from it we try to ignore it, but it is always there. Perhaps, we can "give" compassion more attention, we can give love more attention, we can give eachother more attention and we can all grow and be THAT.
Oh! If anyone is interested, I watch a very interesting documentary tonight written and directed by Tom Shadyac called I AM. If you do not know who Tom is; he directed several hit movies including Patch Adams, Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty and several more as well as writing the screenplays for Ace Ventura; Pet Detective and The Nutty Professor. Here is the link to information on the movie. http://iamthedoc.com/You may enjoy it.
August 14th, 2013
I know it looks like I messed up and am doing two posts in one day, but actually I started that last one before midnight so it was done before the date changed....lol
I was doing some clinical case studies today on Hypnotherapy and PTSD. I had already learned from my certifications that there is empirical evidence that hypnosis works great for PTSD but what struck me was the client. He was a former police officer like myself, he had the same amount of time on the job that I had and was given similar meds as I was for PTSD and like me, had to leave the job because of them. Fortunately he stopped taking the meds they gave him, like I did and searched out others ways to get treatment. What the kick was for me, Is I could have been partners with this guy. Like we could have hung out on the job. He was funny, clear and even though it has been some time since either of us was behind the windshield of a patrol care, we have the same language. I got such a kick out of some of the stories he told during the clinical and how similar to my experiences they were.
One of his stories reminded me of one of my own. One night on patrol during the winter month's in the valley, I was cruising the streets looking for some activity. There usually wasn't much going on Thursday nights and the weather was getting pretty cold for too many people to be out. The radio was quiet so I decided to pick a corner on an intersection, do some paperwork and watch for traffic violations. I get set up and get into a report that needed refining and about 30 minutes later I look up to see a car approaching the red light at the intersection. I watch, and of course, the car slows for the light then suddenly guns it though the intersection.
My paperwork hit the passenger seat, the overhead lights start flashing and I hit the siren as I pursued after the car. I caught up with it pretty quick and called in the stop. I could see that there was only one person in the car so I quickly ran the plate and started to approach the driver's door.
Now, I have never been badge heavy and I often took my position and the people I met lighter than some (ok, most) cops. I found humor; normal, blue or morbid any where I could in the job.
In my safety stance behind the driver's door, I shined my light into the window and was greeted with the face of an old lady laughing hysterically. I'm talking almost 80 yrs old.
Of course I hit her with the lingo; "Ma'am, May I see you driver's license, registration and insurance. please?"
No response....she just continued laughing and laughing.
Now, my guard is coming down and yes, I knew she had to be totally waisted, so I moved in a little closer to the window, picked up the volume a bit and asked again.
Just them she turned to me, stopped laughing and before I could react, reached up with her right hand, pointed a long boney finger and touched the end of my nose saing loudly "BOOP!" and burst into laughter again.
Ok, I have to tell ya. I totally lost it. I started laughing myself. Here I was this big tough cop with a vehicle pulled over on the side of the road and no one around for at least 10 minutes and I get "Booped" on the nose by someone older than my Grandma...
That was both hilarious and embarrassing at the same time....
Needless to say, yes, the lady was drunk..but she sure was funny as hell! BOOP!
Input Input Input
I don't know what is it about me and input. I am in constant need of information. I just got 100% on a new certification in Hypnotherapy and each time I do that, I feel I have to start on a new learning experience. I have seriously taken a look at this in my life. Not that it is a real problem, getting as much knowledge and education as I can, but it is more about how I feel if I am not digging into some meaty topic of learning. Sometimes I feel like I am sitting still, not progressing, feeling stagnant. Other times I feel that I am not doing enough for other people especially my clients if I am not constantly learning more and more that can help them in one way or another. And, sometimes I feel like I am not worthy to be doing what I am doing so I have to learn more, be better, understand deeper or I will not be as affective as I want to be,
Again, I don't think any of this is a bad thing as it doesn't interfere with my life or work, but as I am always curious as to why people do the things they do, I often shine the light on myself.
I saw a really great quote today that I had never seen before in a book I am studying on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) that said "Everyone wants to be a millionaire or a multimillionaire. The only question is whether or not you are willing to do everything necessary and invest all the years required to achieve that financial goal. If you are, there is virtually nothing that can stop you" - Brian Tracy, Goals! How To Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible.
I love this quote. It is short, to the point and true. It begs the question; How many of us want something in our lives but are just not willing to give, do or be what it takes to get it? I can't help but think, Eh! if your not willing to do what it takes, then why not ditch the goal, erase the thought and create others that you are willing to work for?
At least that way you aren't spinning your wheels like a car stuck in mud...simply making a mess of things and not getting anywhere. lol
Ron RB Lake, CHt.
Hey Guys! I am taking advantage of the opportunity to provide current, relevant information to help empower you to live a life you love. My main focus will most often be about the world of hypnotherapy as I am reading, studying and learning constantly. However, I will be including fun and interesting tips on a variety of other things that will help you in your life.