Today I was out making contact with Doctors at Cancer Centers and Pain Management Facilities to see how I could help them provide their patients with a better quality of life through Hypnotherapy and Mentoring I, of course did not make it past the guard (receptionist) at any of the places I went, but I left my cards anyway. Some of the receptionist seemed a bit hostile too. Made me take a few minutes and clear on why I was perceiving their hostility. While I was sitting still on a bench contemplating how I could be better received, I saw a woman sitting not far away. She was an average looking woman in her late 30's to early 40's. She looked like any woman you'd see in the grocery store or at your kid's school. Her black lab was being very obedient sitting with her. I noticed she kept putting her head down and the dog would kiss her face every now and then, then look around like he didn't know what to do. I looked closer and I noticed that she was crying, quietly to herself. Now, I thought to myself; do I go and see what the problem is or do I leave her in peace to deal with whatever she is working through on her own... I am a professional, I thought to myself and of course I went over to see how I could help. At first, I just sat on the bench near her until she recognized my presence. The dog certainly was glad I was there and showed me by immediately licking my hands.
I waited a few more minutes quietly as she composed herself, wiped tears from her face and adjusted her blouse that had become untucked when she sat down. I saw out of the corner of my eye that she had looked my way several times, but she didn't feel annoyed at my presence, so I stayed. Another minute or so went by when I decided it was time to introduce myself and ask how I can help.
With a voice that was still a bit shaky, she began speaking and said "I feel paralyzed. Time is passing by, and I am not doing anything productive. I have projects and work to do, but I just don't feel like doing. I stay in bed and eat. I feel numb. I was very depressed and crying, but now things don't seem to matter anymore. I don't feel anything. I am unemployed, 52 years old, alone, and I'm running out of money. I should be getting ready to work, I send job application after job application, and nothing. I felt despair, but somehow I feel like things are slipping out, away.
I listened carefully without uttering a word or bobbing my head...Just looking, and listening.
She continued; "I would like to know how to get unstuck, how to find meaning in life, how to be active again. How to have
hope and be happy for being alive. My body hurts and I don't move. I am eating and gaining weight because food seems to provide some sort of comfort, but since it is temporary, I keep eating, and gaining weight. I feel I am on a path of
She takes a breath and blows it out as if to be releasing something from deep in her chest. Her dog looks at me as if to ask "Well? Whatcha gonna do?" then looks back at her.
I listen more as she begins again; "I lost the will to do things. I need to feel meaning in my life. I am happy when I am around people, but those times are so rare, and I feel lonely most of the time. Time is running out and my money is running out,
and it seems that no matter how I try I can't find a job, and I feel discouraged and desperate. So, now I feel nothing. I am numb.
She stops talking for a moment and the tears begin to flow down her cheeks again. Her blue eyes now red and tired. She wipes the tears away with an embroidered handkerchief and she looks off into the distance as if the answer is out there somewhere...and then she closed her eyes, wiped them again and asks me, a complete stranger...."How do I get out of
this paralysis? How do I get rid of this numbness? How to find meaning in life? Can you help me?
Now it was my turn to look away and off into the distance. At least I am sure that is what it appeared like I was doing. In fact, I was looking deep inside myself. I was thinking how strange it was that I was sitting here with this person, how my intuition forced me to be available for her in this moment. You see, it was just a few hours earlier, I too was feeling "paralyzed". I was sitting at my desk, looking at the list of things I had to complete, looking at my empty calendar; no client scheduled this week. I don't have the benefits of going to work everyday knowing that I will get a paycheck at the end of the week. I don't have paid time off or sick days. Clients come to me, I help them and they pay me. I use that money to pay my expenses, buy groceries, put gas in the Jeep and cover advertising, etc...Just this very morning, I too was paralyzed. I did not know what direction to go, what tasks to complete first, where to go to generate more business. For a moment, I felt this woman's pain. I felt her fear and even her loneliness. I felt her desperation.
Then, I returned to who I was at that very moment, not the who I was this very morning and I knew exactly what to do.
Because I was actually listening, I recalled her say "I have work to do". I did not need to get involved in the details of her work or the story. She had work to do. It is clear that being paralyzed was keeping her stuck from doing her work, whether it was getting resumes out, making calls, reading the classifieds or whatever. She just needed to get unstuck so that she could get moving again.
A million and on things went through my brain about what I could tell her to do about looking around and creating her own job buy filling the needs of others, or going to Day Labor, or...or...or. But, no...She seems to be a very smart and capable person. She no doubt knew all these options. The real issue is that she was stuck. And I know that there is really only one thing that gets us so stuck that we feel paralyzed and that is fear. sometimes it can grow over time, it sneaks up on us and one day BAM! it stops us dead in our tracks! Unable to see past it, giving us all too many reasons why we should just stop and give up on whatever it is we are doing. The pity is, is that often it convinces us to give up just before we reach the success or goal we were reaching for.
Again, I myself that very morning was stuck until I remembered a little trick I learned during many hours of research. The Pomodoro Technique! It's brilliant for just such a thing. Basically it entails setting a kitchen timer to 25 minutes, doing whatever work you need to accomplish for only that 25 minutes. You must learn to control your communication devices during that time. No Facebook, telephone, food, etc. Then reward yourself for 25 minutes doing something you enjoy. After that 25 minutes, goes get back on task for 25 minutes and so on. There is a whole certification class in this technique that is truly more detailed how to be productive but that does not serve this purpose in the moment.
This poor woman was feeling desperate, discouraged and lost the meaning to what she was doing. Almost every thing she spoke of was about time and how it is running out. She just needs to get organized again, get a grasp on her time, complete the tasks she knows need to be done and reward herself for completing them.
I gave her the information and as I sat there quietly letting her digest the new information, I waited quietly.
A few minutes go by and I noticed the tears had dried up. her face color normalized and her swollen nostrils and lips returned to normal. Her red eyes cleared. Finally, she took a deep breath and shook her head yes.
I smiled, gave her my card. She stood with me, shook my hand and thanked me with a smile. As she turned to walk away she looked back one more time and said "I got it, Thank You".
I watched as this woman, another human being, walked away with a bit of a bounce in her step...felt better about today.
I know I do.
Another Rainy Sunday
I have been working on my part of our book today, Visions2Victory, Changing your life is as little as 10 minutes a day (tentative title). A also spent the day doing some more training on Hypnosis and Sports and Past Life Regression.
I noticed that I awoke this morning with a fire in my gut to get butts in the seat for Our V2V Presentation on August 31st in Phoenix. so far we have had no one sign up for the event. This is really disappointing to me because the information that has come to us over years or training and doing really is priceless for those that want to learn it. One of our former students change her life from a stay at home mom, with not car and no job to making over $6K/mo. in less than 9 months after taking our class and using the skills taught her. Another former student has gone from a life of depression, separation from her children, a bad relationship with her Ex to finding peace, seeing her children as often as she likes, getting a great job and having a meaningful relationship with her Ex to provide a healthy, loving overall environment for her children.
I really wish that I could share this amazing training with everyone, all the time. If they get it (and it is sooooo simple) They would really be able to create the lives they want...not matter how young or how old.
Anyway, I searched online and tried to figure out how to place our event on local calendars for Radio and TV stations as well as various other "things to do" sites around the state. I had enough of that for a while so then I decided to play with some After Effects Video creation....I really love making things from nothing.
Sooooo. Click the picture and you can see what I created...It was so fun to do. I love working with After Effects.
And...I think that's enough for me tonight....G'Night who ever is reading..
It's a lovely rainy Saturday in Prescott, Arizona today., Haven't really done a lot. I got home really late from training in the Valley for It Works! wraps things. That was fun. The training was held at the TGIFridays in Chase Field where the Diamond Backs Play. I haven't been there is many years so it was fun to see the place when a game is not going on.
Anyway, I drove back last night and finally got to bed around 1:30. I woke up a few times during the night but ended up sleeping until almost 11:00 AM. I guess I really needed the sleep.
I had no real plans for today with it raining and all. The thunder and lightening being directly overhead has been fun. I love weather like this. So, I started with a little project, then another and yet another and the next thing I knew it was 6:00 PM. So, to go along with the theme of the day...I'm not gonna do anything of any importance.
I am going play with some After Effects video stuff and then settle in with a movie classic; The Godfather. Should be a fun and relaxing night. :-)
See ya on the other side.
I AM THAT, I am
In all my readings and research I have come to the conclusion that we are in fact, all connected. No matter how individual we want or think we are, we are all interconnected by an energy that comes from us, flows through us and is intertwined binding us all together. Not just us as human beings but rather all of creation, everything on this planet. As a young man (boy of 13 yrs.) I was training to be a Shaman and one of the first things I learned about this world from my elders and other Shaman was that There is a life giving force that flows through all things. It gives to us in direct proportion that we give to it.
In other words; life is all around us, all inside of us and it IS us and the more we pay attention to certain parts of our life the more we get from it. Sometimes "giving" is not necessarily a physical act of taking something you have and bestowing it to another. Sometimes, "giving" is merely paying attention, noticing, or acknowledging. So what we pay attention to grows...and what we don't dies or simply (over time) ceases to exist. This goes not only for the physical things in our lives like houses, cars, tools, but also for the less tangibles like family, friends, community, and our planet as a whole.
I was thinking all day today about the writings of when Moses met God in the Bible. When asked who he was or what he was to be called the reply was "I AM THAT I AM". Philosophers have theorized this translation from the original writing for hundreds of years. I have my own interpretation. Just like in the part that tells us that we were all created in the image of God, I take this to mean that we are all creators ourselves. We create our lives, we create our environment, we create every aspect of who and what we become not only as individuals but collectively. A family, community, society, and planet. and getting back to the phrase "I AM THAT I AM"...I think there is a comma in there and since we are all created in God's Image, we are all, there for "I AM THAT I AM" or rather I am that, I am....So the next time you see a homeless person on the street you can say to yourself "I am that! I am! and you will realize why you ignore them and look away. It is because you see yourself in them. You look away because you don't want to see yourself. You don't what to even think that you could be like that. When you see an abused child or even their abuser remember the phrase I am that, I am! or an alcoholic or drug addict and the list goes on. I am that, I am! And someone reading this somewhere along that way will come to argue that because they have personally never done any of the above mentioned things that they can not possibly be held accountable and that it certainly is NOT them. I am that too, I am...
And.....When you see compassion shared with another, I am that, I am! When you see whole communities and towns come together to help those in need from a natural disaster, or tragic deaths as in the 19 Hot Shots who recently died fighting the Yarnell, Arizona fire....I am that, I am!
You see how it works...we are both what we love and what we don't and we too often turn our heads and look the other way so that we do not have to acknowledge the things we like least about ourselves. We run from it, we hide from it we try to ignore it, but it is always there. Perhaps, we can "give" compassion more attention, we can give love more attention, we can give eachother more attention and we can all grow and be THAT.
Oh! If anyone is interested, I watch a very interesting documentary tonight written and directed by Tom Shadyac called I AM. If you do not know who Tom is; he directed several hit movies including Patch Adams, Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty and several more as well as writing the screenplays for Ace Ventura; Pet Detective and The Nutty Professor. Here is the link to information on the movie. http://iamthedoc.com/You may enjoy it.
August 14th, 2013
I know it looks like I messed up and am doing two posts in one day, but actually I started that last one before midnight so it was done before the date changed....lol
I was doing some clinical case studies today on Hypnotherapy and PTSD. I had already learned from my certifications that there is empirical evidence that hypnosis works great for PTSD but what struck me was the client. He was a former police officer like myself, he had the same amount of time on the job that I had and was given similar meds as I was for PTSD and like me, had to leave the job because of them. Fortunately he stopped taking the meds they gave him, like I did and searched out others ways to get treatment. What the kick was for me, Is I could have been partners with this guy. Like we could have hung out on the job. He was funny, clear and even though it has been some time since either of us was behind the windshield of a patrol care, we have the same language. I got such a kick out of some of the stories he told during the clinical and how similar to my experiences they were.
One of his stories reminded me of one of my own. One night on patrol during the winter month's in the valley, I was cruising the streets looking for some activity. There usually wasn't much going on Thursday nights and the weather was getting pretty cold for too many people to be out. The radio was quiet so I decided to pick a corner on an intersection, do some paperwork and watch for traffic violations. I get set up and get into a report that needed refining and about 30 minutes later I look up to see a car approaching the red light at the intersection. I watch, and of course, the car slows for the light then suddenly guns it though the intersection.
My paperwork hit the passenger seat, the overhead lights start flashing and I hit the siren as I pursued after the car. I caught up with it pretty quick and called in the stop. I could see that there was only one person in the car so I quickly ran the plate and started to approach the driver's door.
Now, I have never been badge heavy and I often took my position and the people I met lighter than some (ok, most) cops. I found humor; normal, blue or morbid any where I could in the job.
In my safety stance behind the driver's door, I shined my light into the window and was greeted with the face of an old lady laughing hysterically. I'm talking almost 80 yrs old.
Of course I hit her with the lingo; "Ma'am, May I see you driver's license, registration and insurance. please?"
No response....she just continued laughing and laughing.
Now, my guard is coming down and yes, I knew she had to be totally waisted, so I moved in a little closer to the window, picked up the volume a bit and asked again.
Just them she turned to me, stopped laughing and before I could react, reached up with her right hand, pointed a long boney finger and touched the end of my nose saing loudly "BOOP!" and burst into laughter again.
Ok, I have to tell ya. I totally lost it. I started laughing myself. Here I was this big tough cop with a vehicle pulled over on the side of the road and no one around for at least 10 minutes and I get "Booped" on the nose by someone older than my Grandma...
That was both hilarious and embarrassing at the same time....
Needless to say, yes, the lady was drunk..but she sure was funny as hell! BOOP!
Input Input Input
I don't know what is it about me and input. I am in constant need of information. I just got 100% on a new certification in Hypnotherapy and each time I do that, I feel I have to start on a new learning experience. I have seriously taken a look at this in my life. Not that it is a real problem, getting as much knowledge and education as I can, but it is more about how I feel if I am not digging into some meaty topic of learning. Sometimes I feel like I am sitting still, not progressing, feeling stagnant. Other times I feel that I am not doing enough for other people especially my clients if I am not constantly learning more and more that can help them in one way or another. And, sometimes I feel like I am not worthy to be doing what I am doing so I have to learn more, be better, understand deeper or I will not be as affective as I want to be,
Again, I don't think any of this is a bad thing as it doesn't interfere with my life or work, but as I am always curious as to why people do the things they do, I often shine the light on myself.
I saw a really great quote today that I had never seen before in a book I am studying on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) that said "Everyone wants to be a millionaire or a multimillionaire. The only question is whether or not you are willing to do everything necessary and invest all the years required to achieve that financial goal. If you are, there is virtually nothing that can stop you" - Brian Tracy, Goals! How To Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible.
I love this quote. It is short, to the point and true. It begs the question; How many of us want something in our lives but are just not willing to give, do or be what it takes to get it? I can't help but think, Eh! if your not willing to do what it takes, then why not ditch the goal, erase the thought and create others that you are willing to work for?
At least that way you aren't spinning your wheels like a car stuck in mud...simply making a mess of things and not getting anywhere. lol
August 12th, 2013
Ok, so it looks like I have to create this new habit of blogging. I missed a coupe of days over the weekend, after saying I was gonna do it every day for 30 days. I recommit to my goal.
I woke up this morning thinking about magic. I love magic. I love the mystique of it. I love the surprises. I love the smiles it creates. I love the wonder and awe it brings to us. No matter how old or how young we all get the same look of surprise and disbelief on our faces the same way. I like to think of life as being pretty magical.
When I was younger, I learned a few magic tricks and enjoyed sharing them with friends and family. But to me, they weren't magical. I knew how the trick was done and over time I got bored. I used to watch magicians and illusionist do their shows, then try to figure out the "trick" Many times I could, but my favorites were when I couldn't. That's when I realized that I don't always want to know How. I just want to enjoy that it is...Magic.
I like needing a little pocket cash then decide to clean the sofa and find a $20 bill, as if by Magic! I like when I have lost something and it shows back up as if by magic! It's even cooler when I think about something I want, how I would use it and someone suddenly gifts it to me out of the blue...as if by magic!
I sometimes like to lay in the cool grass of a park or by the lake and imagine that I am dissolving clouds and often times as I imagine, the clouds to actually melt away, as if by magic!
I have a 2 year old grandbaby and she reminds me all the time how important magic is in our lives. To her, at this age, everything is magic. And that reminds me that its only magic because we don't know how the "trick" works.
I hope that anyone reading this, finds magic in their lives everyday. I hope that money magically appears in your life. I hope that the happiness, prosperity and success you wish for come to you....as if by Magic.
OK, so I been writing things about Mentoring, Hypnosis, Success, Prosperity and Wealth for years now, but I have been told its time to do the "blog" thing. lol I am not sure how this is going to pan out, but I am going to give it an honest effort.. As I write this I am noticing that the "v" on my keyboard is not working sometimes, so I will try to make sure that you don't get to read too many words missing a "v". :-)
I guess I should start out with who I am and why I decided to become a Hypnotherapist and Executive Mentor.
Ever since I was a little kid, I paid attention to and sought to understand human behavior. Common questions for me were; Why do we think the way we think? Why do we do the things we do? and even when the results are not in our favor, why do we continue to do them anyway?
I was the kid who sat in the lunch area at school watching all the interaction between other students, actively thinking about the above questions. I would consciously watch interactions between adults in my family, friends of family etc. I learned at a young age to be invisible in a crowd so that I could really observe without being scooted out of the room. Over and over I watched people do the same things, repeat the same behaviors, talk about the same stories and give the same advise.
Girls seem to fall for the same types of men repeatedly. I would even hear others tell that what they were doing and the same things were said often; "I know!, but I just can't help it." What did this mean, that they could not help it? They could not make the choice between a good man and a bad one? They had no control over being verbally or physically abused and choosing to be with someone who did not do that to them? I was a child, so the deeper answers to the questions did not come to me fully for many years. The men were very much the same. They would get caught doing something they were not supposed to be doing by family or spouse, then apologize swearing it would not happen again, yet some months later I would witness the same fight or argument all over again. Once again, I would hear the excuse "I can't help myself." Again, this furthered my interest into the study of human behavior with the intent to understand why we do what we do and why it is that we can not "help ourselves" This led me to the desire to "help" them if they could not help themselves. So, I choose careers whereby I could (or thought I could) help other people.
All of my jobs included a strong aspect of service to others. I even joined a national organization who had in their Creed among other things "Service to humanity is the best work of life." I really do believe this line. I believe that anytime we can be of service to others, we not only make them better, we make ourselves better and the world becomes just a little better in itself.
So, In several of my jobs going through life I began to notice a pattern. I would often be approached or simply assigned the task of being an employee peer councilor, a trainer or mentor. My supervisors all seemed to see in me things I really was not paying attention to myself. I was once told in an employee review that I was "compassionate, listened well, thought before I spoke and could build rapport with anyone almost instantly". I wasn't sure what all that meant at the time, but I appreciated being recognized with those skills.
Over the years, I continued to use those skills to help others change their lives and begin moving in directions that were more suited for them. I learned from watching and listening to others as well as my own personal mistakes. Believe me, I have made just as many as anyone else and a few were real doozies...lol Yet, some of us live and learn. I know I have.
So, over the years I went to college, studied way more on my own, utilized internet and library resources to their full advantage, attended dozens of Seminars, certification courses and group discussions to figure out that who we are, what we do and why we do it is really pretty simple.
It is all about programming.
We have program printed in our DNA that creates us physically. In that program are thousand upon thousands of years or writing and rewriting of the program that makes us exist. All that begins to come together the moment we are conceived. THEN...like a new computer fresh off the assembly line, we enter the world with the very basic of survival programing from the way our organs grow, the color of our hair, to survival instincts like our first smiles and coos to make our parents like us more.
And, like that new computer with its basic programing that is often very user friendly, We are born, and begin to experience our external world. From birth to about age 7 (like any computer) we receive updates, and new programs input from other sources, like environment, parents, siblings, friends, other family and so on. All this information gets programmed into us at a time when we have very few filters. We really don't have the tools to keep out the junk so whatever we are exposed to just simply makes its way in. This programming creates who we are, what our personalities become, what are defense mechanism are, how we view the world around us, What we believe about money, success, happiness, relationships and so much more. All this happens in the first 7 years or so.
So...what's the problem? Well, the problem is that as we age, mature and move into an adult world that is vastly different from when we were kids, those old programs become outdated. They are no longer affective in the adult life. And responding to your environment with the programming of a child is not productive and frankly makes little sense.
I believe that every person has not only the ability but the right to rewrite their programming, to recreate the script that guides their lives. They have the opportunity to create a life they love to live, if they could only recognize that. It is never too soon or too late, The opportunity is now. And now is the time to take action.
Ron RB Lake, CHt.
Hey Guys! I am taking advantage of the opportunity to provide current, relevant information to help empower you to live a life you love. My main focus will most often be about the world of hypnotherapy as I am reading, studying and learning constantly. However, I will be including fun and interesting tips on a variety of other things that will help you in your life.