"I'll be damned if I'll be a public utility.:
~HENRY R. LUCE
We're all so afraid of failure, especially if our short comings should be in any way public. That's why we seek moderation in so many things that we do. If we are committed to rediscovering what is important to us, we will recreate a system by which we can live, and not live out our days as a public or private utility.
We who do too much are, to a greater degree shamed based. I need to be aware that my failures teach me as much as my success, and that obsession with work masks my pain.
We all have hopes and dreams and wishes for things in our life. We wish
we had more money, more time for the things we love to do, or time for people we
love to be with. We wish we had better cars, better homes, more of this or that.
Too often we waste time wishing, hoping, praying and dreaming instead of doing
what needs to be done to actually acquire our desires. We are watching mindless televisions shows, playing games on the computer, surfing the lives of our friends and family on Facebook, or whatever we can find to do that distracts us from accomplishing what we really want in life. Perhaps it is fear, or lack of knowledge, lack of discipline or whatever. The truth is, it all boils down to the strength of your desires. When I was growing up, several phrases were repeated by my parents all the time. 1) “If you can conceive it in your mind and you can really believe it than you can achieve it.” 2) “Those who really want something find a way, those who don’t find an excuse.” and two of my favorite I
read in a Richard Bach's book…”The best way to avoid responsibility is to say “I have responsibilities” and possibly one of my all time favorites…
”Argue for your limitations and they are yours.”
So, the next time you notice yourself sitting there wishing, hoping or dreaming
about a better life or a better you; stop and look at yourself and see what YOU
are doing to create the life you love to live.
"By letting go, it all gets done; The world is won by those who let it go!"
~THE TAO TE CHING
That may be what so much of our compulsion is about: it isn't "natural" for people this day and age, in this culture, to "let go". We keep old models of achievements, and sometimes to disastrous methods of seeing things to aggravation. How often have we clung to what we thought was the life raft of sanity, of our work, or our desire to complete a task, for the sake of the task, not for what it brings us.
It will be of importance to me to keep my real goals in perspective today. I will need to be mindful of what makes me and those I love happy, not simply what keeps me busy.
The Golden Circle
How is it that things don’t go the way you plan? Why is it that one person can accomplish something when another can’t given all the same opportunities and resources? It is because of an idea called the Golden Circle: it’s a simple idea coined by Simon Sinek.
This idea explains why some people are able to inspire and others are not.
What? – Every single person or organizations knows what they do.
How? – Some know how they do it.
Why? – Very few people or organizations know why they do what they do.
Why? doesn’t mean “to make a profit. That is a result of what you do. By why I mean what is your purpose, your cause, your belief? Why do you or your organization exist? Why do you get out of bed in the morning? And why should anyone care?
Looking again at the Golden Circle, the way we think, act and communicate is from the outside in. From the what to the why. We go from the clearest thing to the fuzziest thing. The inspired leaders, the inspired organizations all think, act and communicate from the inside out.
The mass majority of us who have something to offer communicate like this:
“I have a product”
“It is beautiful, its perfect and it will meet all your needs.”
“Want to buy it?”
The response is usually “no” or even “maybe” with no action step in site. This is how most of us communicate, it’s how most marketing is done. We say what we do, we say how we are different and we expect some sort of response, some type of action. We expect someone to buy our products, or sign up for our
services or even vote for us and agree with our ideas. This is very uninspiring.
Inspired leaders, practitioners, mentors, sales people and organizations take the opposite approach. They start with why. This makes them stand out from the masses. An example would be:
In everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. How do we do this?
How - We create products and services that are packaged well, simple to use and
meet your needs.
What – The product.
People do not buy what you do, they buy why you do it.
The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs your product; the goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe. That’s your market, that’s your niche.
All this information is grounded in the science of Biology. Not Psychology, Biology.
If we look at the cross section of the brain from the top down, you will see that the brain is separated into three components. These three components correlate directly with the Golden Circle.
The homosapien or neo brain aka Neocortex corresponds with the “what” level. The Neocortex is responsible for all of our rational thinking, analytical thought and language; the middle two sections make up our limbic brain and are responsible for all of our feelings, like trust and loyalty. They are also responsible for all human behavior, all decision making and it has no capacity for language. When we communicate from the outside in, people understand vast amounts of complicated information like features, benefits, facts and figures. But this does not drive behavior.
When we communicate from the inside out, we communicate directly with the part of the brain that controls behavior. Then we allow people to rationalize the “what” with the tangible things we say and do.
The limbic brain is where “gut” decisions come from. You can give someone all the facts and figures you want, they can totally understand, yet you hear the phrase “It just doesn’t feel right”. Why would we use that verb? It is because the part of our brain that is actually responding doesn’t understand language and it’s the best it can come up with. The limbic is the part of the brain that controls decision making, not language.
If you do not know why you do what you do, how will you ever get anyone to buy your product or services or even be loyal? Apple customers are very loyal. AT&T customers are very loyal. Both of these companies make good products, provide good customer service but so do many others in the same industries.
These two companies also have higher priced items then other companies
too. So, why are their customers so loyal? People don’t just buy their products,
they want to be a part of what they do.
Again, the goal is not just to sell to people who need what you have. The goal is to sell to people who believe what you believe. The difference between inspired leadership and not, is that inspired leaders are driven by a cause, a belief. They are not driven by money or notoriety. They believe that they can make a significant change in the world or in the lives of others. They are not in pursuit of the result or the riches. If you talk about what you believe, you attract those who believe what you do. What you do simply serves as the proof of what you believe.
Ron RB Lake, CHt.
Hey Guys! I am taking advantage of the opportunity to provide current, relevant information to help empower you to live a life you love. My main focus will most often be about the world of hypnotherapy as I am reading, studying and learning constantly. However, I will be including fun and interesting tips on a variety of other things that will help you in your life.
Hypnotherapy Relationship Coach, Rapid Eye Therapy
Life Skills Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Communication Specialist
Hypnotherapy, Chakra Synergy Technique, Soulful Life Coaching